Yessiree folks, that’s right. We dun landed in the black hole again. Nah, that’s the tricky thing ‘bout these black holes, you tell yerself you ain’t gonna fall in it no more, then, ‘fore you know it, yer smack dab down in the middle of it’s big asshole cavity again. So, nah, this time Earl and Eugene had to get real serious ‘bout this. Whut we mean by that is, we’ve had to start seeing many a white coats. They be checkin’ our blood, piss, and brains real good like. And know whut they found? We BOTH got’s The Moto. Don’t get scared away now, this might sound technical. The Moto, aka Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism is a red headed bastard of a disease. Here’s whut happened to us.
Eugene: Well Eugeney started noticing his quick movin’ vermin huntin’ skills was slowin’ down fer some reason. One day, he was sittin’ in his rocker and looked down at whut used to be his knees. You know whut he saw? Why, he saw real puffy like mush balloons like his grammammy had! Whut in the hell!? Well, then his hair started fallin’ out right from his head! Next he was gettin’ real real sad and lockin’ himself up in Earl’s barn for hours on end. Only one he talked to was Betsy the cow. Eugene was even startin’ to snooze while he was standin’! And here’s whut else happened. He was wonderin’ why he was shiverin’ all the time like a wussy and he couldn’t even doo doo no more. Well folks, he was fallin’ apart, that’s for sure.
Earl: Nah, errone knows Earl is one of the strongest rednecks in the whole country south right? Well, one day Earl realized he couldn’t haul them bricks like he used too. And, you remember when we told you Earl dun sh!t himself right? Well, seemed like he was losing control of all his bodily functions and that includes memory folks. Why, Earl didn’t know if he was comin’ or goin’. And Earl knew somethin’ was wrong so he dun made lots and lots of white coat appointments but missed them all cause he couldn’t remember which days and times they were. Earl was goin’ up in the tree every night and crying and howling like a lonesome wolf. Know whut else happened to Earl? Well, his eyelids got real big and red and puffy and he dun started lookin’ like one of them chiney folks. Flashin’ sign number one folks: Earl stopped drinkin’ moonshine!! YES, he STOPPED drinkin’ the moonshine. End of story.
Nah, doctor says we both gots to take this pill, erry day for the rest of our natural lives. Ain’t that a bitch.
Next up folks…We on to see them head shrinky white coats! Yes, that’s right folks, pencil pushin’ dun tore us apart, mind, body, and soul. Let’s hope we can get ‘em back. This one big mighty mountain to climb.
What Can Ye Learn Frum a Redneck? 