What Can Ye Learn Frum a Redneck?

Hey folks. Nah, you might be wonderin’ what the connection is between pencil pushers and vermin.  They may seem like worlds apart at first glance, but when you take a closer lookie, you may well realize they one in the same.  Ya see, pencil pushers sit on they big fat mushy keisters all day long inside and they don’t even see the sun.  Number one sign; vermin come out at night cause they afraid of the good ‘ol sunshine.  Nah, we all know whut happens when you sit all day long.  Your strong muscles turn to weak mushy meat.  Even you farmers know that when a lamb in a cage forever his meat turn mushy and that’s how you get soft tender mushy veal meat.  Well, I don’t know about you, but I think this is mighty similar to a pencil pusher sittin’ in a cube all day long, errday.  And that there is sign number two.  Pencil pushers also use their brains for nuthin’ but thinkin’ and thinkin’ all day and when you don’t think and do, yer brain go crooked and get mushy too.  I’ll give you a sample, if you think your woman real hot and give yer donkey a lift, you would think, “I like that”, and then you would do her.  That’s thinkin’ and doin’.  Nah, if you were thinkin’ and thinkin’, you would think, “I like that” and “I like that”.  All you fellas know if you don’t do her when you like it, yer brain and yer donkey gonna hurt real bad.  That’s how thinkin’ and thinkin’ and not thinkin’ and doin’ lead to crooked brains.  Nah, we all know vermin got some small mushy crooked brains.  Well yessireee, that there is sign number three.  And, you know pencil pushers like to get from one place to another by using the underground railroad. That’s where the vermin like to stay too.  If pencil pushers ain’t in the underground railroad, they stuck in building’s all day and you know vermin like to hide in the basements and walls.  Likeminded folks stick together.  Nah, I don’t know about you, but I sho’ call that sign number four!  Well, if it’s not clear enough to you yet; you ain’t never gonna see a redneck underground or hidin’ from the sun.  Whats more, is rednecks make good sweat on their brow and have real strong muscles and good brains from thinkin’ and doin’.  So folks, that’s why pencil pushers is vermin theyselves.  And hey you palenecks readin’ out there, if you ain’t vermin yet, you sho’ is headed that way.  Better get to runnin’ on that fake runnin’ machine, before your muscles rot into vermin meat.  Just like vermin hamster runnin’ on that wheel for hours thinkin’ he gettin’ somewhere but he dun went nowhere.  And remember, this family has the finest vermin hunters out of anywhere.  We will sniff out that rotten meat quicker than a fox sniff a rabbit.  Nah, don’t git it wrong pencil pushers, I ain’t mad at ya, I just wanted to warn ya that vermin huntin’ is fair game.  Big or small.