Hey folks. Me and mah bruther were doin’ some thinkin’ about donkey’s. Do you know whut a donkey is? Well, I’ll tell ya.
Pick yer favorite:
Dick
Penis
Cock
Ding Dong
Member
Prick
Johnson
One eyed willy
You git the point. Well us rednecks call our dick a donkey because it’s just as big as a donkey dick. You might be saying to yerselves, “How are you gonna say that rednecks got bigger donkey’s than errone else?” Nah, I don’t know about other rednecks, but my family got some big ‘ol donkeys! And since you folks like to jokie that we be sexin’ with our own kin, why then, wouldn’t it make sense that the big donkey gene gets passed down. HARHAR. Just like vagina, there are lots of different types of donkey. Now, don’t get tight and go saying’ I’m one of dem homosexuals, but we all been in a locker room or two.
Here’s the list:
Donkey Dick: This be a big ‘ol somb!tch, real thick and real long. The ladies love this one. And I gots to say, I feel mighty happy to have one of these. Why, it be slappin’ against my leg whin I walk and that’s just fine with me. I can even make it do a little jig if I want by jumpin’ up and down.
Elephant Trunk: Nah, my momma believes in an easily cleaned donkey. She had three little buzzard boys and she sure as hell wasn’t gonna be cleanin’ all up inside three big donkey hoods errday, so she had the whitecoat cut that part off our ding dongs. Now as far as the trunk part goes, that explains itself.
Throbbin’ Veins (aka Frankencock): This type of member is covered in bulgin’ purply veins. It lookie like if you not careful, it just gonna explode. Ribbed for her pleasure. Simple.
Pencil Prick: Nah, I’m not trying to say that all you pencil pushers have pencil dicks, so don’t git tight, but this one is skinny like a pencil. Better find a chiney lady with the vice grips pussy fellas.
Average Willy: Here it is folks. Real simple. About 6 inches long and 1 and ½ inches ‘round. Ain’t nuthin’ special or nuthin’ too wrong ‘bout it. Need I say more?
Pointin’ due West: When this type’s at attention it points straight to the left. Make you lookie left to see whut’s over thur. Whin a lady fella git on top, she got to lean to the side to get on and straighten it out. This one’s tricky ladies.
Veal Meat Penis: My great granpappy Wilbur has one of these. It just lay thur like a piece of mushy veal no matter whut you do. Why, Pamela Anderson could be right in front of you and the darn thing just won’t budge. Some fellas with this type go to see the white coats and they give ‘em the blue pills (pencil pushers call these Viagra). Nah, I’ve been hearing that them pills make a donkey stand up for hours. Combine this with a dry old pussy and you gots some trouble. Better git some of that sex oil grannies. This a sad story.
Jiffy Cock: Similar to the popcorn type, this kind of ding dong goes off in about 60 seconds. Why sometimes you barely even got a touch it. Nah, I’m not too proud to admit that this maybe happened to me when I was ‘bout 15 years old, but now my wifey can play with my donkey for hours on end. If you gots a jiffy cock, better put in some practice. Try jerkin’ yer own chain before testin’ on a live ladyfella. No one needs that.
Short ‘n Stocky: Why, this one is as long as it is wide. And the balls be hanging lower than the actual cock. Even whin it wake up there ain’t much difference. It is whut it is.
So folks, do YER donkey hang low??
Don’t be embarrased ladies, tell us whut yer workin’ with!
What Can Ye Learn Frum a Redneck? 
